You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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