Only a mothe r could love this liver
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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