Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
