what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
