Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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