I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
