He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
