She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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