After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
