real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
