just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
