Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
