member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
my poor anus
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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