Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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