Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
