just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
