There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When did angry sex become our thing?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
