So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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