im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
