Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
