By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize