how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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