I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
