I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
