I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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