Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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