My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think i have herpe
just one?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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