he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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