Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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