At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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