Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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