I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
