He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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