Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
