glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize