i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
