I just threw up on my dentist
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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