he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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