Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
