Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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