I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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