why didn't you poke me back
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
