Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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