Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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