i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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