You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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