i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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