oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
