Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
