whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
